Latest News >> 2008-04-29

UPDATE: There seems to be some interest in Idiopidae too and I’ve been neglecting the Idiopidae project page while working on Vellum. I’ve updated that page with information and updated install procedures, so please check it out again if nothing worked for you.

2008-04-26

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that this is my first LaTeX text ever and that it’s based on one of my first Python projects and that I wrote what you find below in about 3 days while dorking around on Vellum and Idiopidae. Since I’m both a Python and LaTeX newb please feel free to school me. Better yet, if you think the typesetting sucks, then show me your samples. See if you can beat this one sent to me by Kashif Rasul. I still consider what he’s created as the bar to get over.

2008-04-18

While working on a more complex build I decided to make recursive imports work and clean up the syntax for imports in Vellum

2008-04-15

I worked on Vellum today after waking up from jetlag and Poland. I feel like it’s near ready for actual use by people. I even managed to polish it off with a nice little command line option for dumping the commands a build spec uses including their documentation. Check out this Pastie clip that shows it off.

About Me

I’m so incredibly famous that I decided to put up this blog to keep everyone on the internet informed about me. The most important person. Others try to be known by everyone and grab their 15 minutes of fame, but only Zed brings style and grace to the enterprise of owning the world.

Why? Because I can that’s why.

Smart.

I’m the greatest programmer the world has known, and it’s time you all learn this truth. Learn it so completely you are forced into hiding … never to touch a keyboard again.

My profound work powers all of the most incredibly profitable sites such as Twitter, Google, IBM, Meetro, Facebook, Yahoo!, Meebo, and all the other me-too innovations. It pumps air into their buildings, life into their children, and I gave them this gift asking nothing in return.

Hot.

I am honestly the sexiest geek alive. Just look at this photo of me at work.

I'm gorgeous.

I’m so hot the Sun must shield its gaze with Saturn’s belt when I walk outside for fear of losing its power to give Australians cancer.

Tough.

I’ve studied every martial art and could kick a hole in the side of a car door. Even at 33 years old I’m still tougher than every nerd on the internet and will accept any challengers looking to prove themselves. In fact, if you talk shit to me and don’t back it up with a fight then you’re a pussy. Pure and simple. I could pimp you out as a $2 whore. You’re that weak.

Professional.

I run large multi-million dollar projects for incredibly large multi-billion dollar companies with only a staff of three programmers. We invent never before seen technologies that eclipse the word “enterprise” to become something infinitely more significant: giganteprise.

If you’re looking for a new CEO I’m your man. Your current CEO is a moron anyway. Seriously, how many companies can say they have leadership that gets it? Not many. Because I don’t work there yet.

Creative.

I dance; sing; play 5 instruments; cook; craft novels, poetry, and short stories; paint anime; and write code that inspires Elephants to lay down arms against their Lion enemies.

Profound.

My writings have changed entire industries, convinced universities to cancel classes, and inspired others to copy me with limited success.

Forever.

I’m so permanently here that I don’t jump sharks, I have them carry umbrellas for me like P.Diddy’s right hand man. Don’t fuck with me. My sharks are bad ass.

Hated.

True genius and creativity is always despised by the mundanes of the world. When people tell their friends, “That Zed is such an asshole.” Their friends, reply: 

"I know.  What a prick."

When I tell my friends that my enemies are assholes they reply,

"Who?"

My enemies are nobodies, cursed to live in my shadow as nothing more than worthless scoundrels scraping by from day to day off my scraps of fame.

However, it’s inevitable that every nerd will challenge me online, but none challenge me in person. They are weak and filled with self-loathing as they watch me effortlessly traverse their chosen field. A field they barely grasp for dear life.

Funny.

If you haven’t noticed, I’m funny and enjoy having fun. Enjoy my site, tell me if you use my projects. Don’t take it too seriously though, it’s all an act.